Moving...

I still can’t believe it has been two years since I have moved out of my parents’ house. It really does seem like last week that I moved out. Time sure does fly. I’ve had a lot of good times, bad times, and sad times in that apartment. I would have friends over and we would have Shake and Bake night. Gotta luv the Shake and Bake! There were plenty of nights that my little sisters would come and spend the night. They just loved coming to be with their Sissie. I would have Grey’s nights, and I also had plenty of nights where my bestie would come over and we would just hang out. Sometimes we would talk all night, and sometimes we would just sit and watch TV and say nothing. Either way, it was great just to be with her.

It was in my apartment that I received the phone call from her that she had cancer. It was also in my apartment that I received the news that she was cancer free. It was there that she sat on my couch and broke the news to me that she would be moving to Florida. It was there that we said our final goodbyes before she left for Florida. There are too many memories in that apartment. It will definitely be hard to see it go. To say goodbye to a place that has so many memories in that very short time.

In 11 days I will officially be out of my apartment. That is the day when my lease is up. I am moving back home with my parents. Student loans are coming due, and I just can't afford to live by myself anymore. It sucks being 31 and moving back home, but I have to do what I have to do. It is just that I'm going from an apartment of 1 to a house of 6 with 2 dogs. It will definitely be a change going back to that.

I have been staying at my parents’ house some, but I knew if I just didn't want to deal with it I could go home. But now where will I go? I won't be able to get away from the chaos. Going to my room just won’t be the same. I am staying in my little sister’s room until my room is finished. Hopefully that won't be too much longer. My parents are actually going to be finishing the basement so I can move in down there. I will have my own little apartment down there. I will have a living room, bedroom, and bathroom. It will be nice. But it needs to be finished. Hopefully it won’t be long. My goal is by August that it will be done. I would LOVE for it to be done before then, but we will see.

What a year...

This past year has been a year of change for me. January 3, 2010 I truly started on my new journey towards a healthier me. That is definitely a change. I did fabulous at first. The first month alone I lost 16 lbs. The next few months after that, I lost each month. It wasn't near what I did the first month, but that was OK, at least I was losing.

Then I started not having the same motivation I had before. I keep trying to think of why, the only thing I can come up with is just one excuse after the other. I also would allow myself to eat this bad thing "just this once." Well, I still kept losing, so "just this once" kept happening more and more often. By June, I had lost 50 lbs. By September, I had gained 7 lbs. Then from September to November, I had maintained. Then in less than a month, I gained 15 lbs. I couldn't believe it. I knew I hadn't been doing good at all, but seriously...15 lbs??? In less than a month??? DUDE!!! So now I'm trying to get back on track. Here's to a healthier me in 2011!!

There have been other changes this year as well...

After going to college on an off for 12 years, I decided I had enough. I just couldn't do it anymore. So during Spring Break, I decided not to go back. I was done with school. My heart wasn't in it anymore, and there is no need to spend that kind of money, if my heart wasn't in it. Not being in school, means that student loans are coming due, so I got a second job. I have been working two jobs since May. It is very exhausting, but my bills say I have to do it.

Because student loans are coming due, I have to move back home. I am moving back in with my parents in March 2011. I am OK with moving back home, but have gotten used to not living with anyone, not having to answer to anyone. It is great. Oh well, gotta do what you gotta do...'tis life.

I've also had changes in friendships...

My bestest friend in the whole wide world moved to beautiful Clearwater, FL in July. We only met a few years ago when I started my current job, but it was like we'd known each other forever. She definitely knows me better than anyone. I have never been so comfortable around someone in my entire life. She isn't someone I feel like I have to impress. We are DEFINATELY sister from a different mother! In the short few years that we have known each other, we have been through so much, more than some who have been friends for 20 years. I luv that girl. I've been to see her twice since she has moved, always great to see her, always sad to leave. I miss her so much. If I didn't hate summer so much, and my family wasn't here, I could see myself living down there.

I have another person that I was friends with that things happened to change our friendship. In July, she got married and I was the Maid of Honor in her wedding. Then in September, we got in a fight, and we are no longer friends. There was a lot more to it than just one fight, but no need to air people's dirty laundry. I am not sad that we aren't friends, but that doesn't mean that we didn't have good times together. We were friends for 5 years. You can't be friends for that long and not have good times. I just think, for me anyways, that our time as friends is over. We became friends during a time when we both really needed someone. I know saying that I don't need her anymore sounds harsh, but I don't know how else to put it. We all need friends, don't get me wrong. BUT, that doesn't mean that you are always going to stay friends forever. God puts people in your life for the time that you need them. That may be 5 minutes, 5 years, or 50 years.

I'm not sure what 2011 is going to bring, but hopefully it will bring good health, happiness, and many wonderful surprises!

Woodland Art Fair...

For the past two years, my best friend and I would go to the Woodland Art Fair. We would make sure to always get off on that Saturday, get together around 10am or so and then head down there. We would just walk around and stop at all the different booths, buy some stuff, and just hang out. We both always love seeing all the different artists and seeing all the different people.

After we would browse around all the booths, and bought some of the things we wanted, would would start walking around the fair at the church across the street. Then after that, we would just walk around the area and see what was going on. Afterwards, we would go to lunch and just hang out the rest of the day.

Well, this is the weekend of the Woodland Art fair. I'm not going this year. My best friend moved to Florida and isn't able to come up for the weekend. Then on top of that not only do I work one job, but I work both jobs. So I don't even get to go. I had never been before until two years ago, and now I'm going to miss it. It wouldn't have been the same without my Jennie there anyways, but still wish I could go.

The Devil made me do it...

So my boss thinks it is a good idea to have a quote of the day. So when I sign on to my software at work each day, there is a new quote for me to read. Today's quote really hit home for me.

Stress is what happens when your gut says, "No"...
...but your mouth says, "Of course. I'd be glad to."

How true is that for emotional eaters like myself? It is VERY true! When I am stressed, I just want to eat. MY waist line is saying you don't want it, but my mouth is totally saying yes! It is like the little devil and the little angel sitting on your shoulder. The angel says, "Eating won't solve anything, Don't do it!" And the devil says, "But it will make you feel SOOO much better. Just do it! It won't hurt you." If I am going to be honest, I have given into the devil more times than I can count. I know that I have not conquered the devil, but at times it does get easier.

Learning to find other ways to deal with my stress is harder than I thought it would be. Eating has always been the one thing I could control. I could control what went in my mouth. When I had no control over anything else, that was the only thing I could. So that is what I turned to. For a long time it was my "best friend." Well...my "best friend" has gotten me where I am today, and it is time to break ties. :)

My pitty party...

I have been really stressed here recently. I have decided to quit school. I just can't do it anymore. I have been going to school for a while now. I went from K-12 (12 twice). Then I did go to college for a year and a half, dropped out for a couple of years. Then I went back for a few more years, then graduated with an Associates in Applied Science. I did take another year off after that. Then I went back to get my Bachelors, in a different major. I have been going back for a couple of years now, and I am just done. I am sooooooo sick of school. I like to learn, I just HATE studying, tests and homework. I am sick of having to be there at specific times, and teachers. I am just done with it all.

I am also stressing over other things. I am stressing over my finances. Stressing over trying to find a second job. Stressing over losing weight. Stressing over so much more. Woe is me. lets just all have a pitty party!

Weekend Getaway...

I went away this past weekend. It was definitely long overdo. I went to visit my friend Crystal who I haven't seen in almost a year. She lives about 4 hours away from me, and with both of us working and being poor :) we just don't have enough time to really get away to see each other. At least she is closer now than she was before when she lived in Hawaii!!!

Friday was actually her 30th bday! We didn't do much, just went to dinner at Fazoli's (her choice) and then came back to her house and played Volleyball on PS2 until I just couldn't stay awake anymore. The next day we just hung out and went to brunch, then went and saw The Bounty Hunter with Jenifer Aniston and Gerard Butler. It was a good movie, but the ending pissed me off. I did NOT like the ending what-so-ever. Everything before the ending was good, it was just the ending that I didn't like. After the movie, we went back to her place and played a cooking type game on Wii. Then we went to dinner and watched some of the games on the screen. GO UK!!!

After dinner, we went back and played our ritual Olympics game on PS2. Every time we get together, whether it be at her place or mine, we play the Olympics game and see who can beat the other. She actually won this time. I don't know who holds the overall record of wins, but it s definitely fun and I look forward to it! After that we played some sport video game on Wii. It was tooo fun. I beat her...yes I did!! GO ME!!!

Then Sunday came, and I had to say goodbye. We went to brunch, and I headed back the 4 hours to home. It was a good trip. I don't realize how much I miss her until I see her. We have been friends since college and we have been through a lot together. I love her and don't know what I would do with out her! Can't wait until June when she is going to be coming to my neck of the woods!

My first post...

My best friend told me that I needed to start a blog. So, here it goes. I've thought maybe there should be a theme about it, but decided against it. This blog will just be about random thoughts that I have. If I need to vent, or share something wonderful, or just feel the need to type something, then this is where I will do it. I am not sure how often I will post, but I will post when I feel like I have something to say.